How to Respond in Difficult Conversations
Someone's just been offended by your behaviour. Someone's just accused you of acting in a certain way. Someone's just lost a loved one.
How do you respond?
Do you pull back, choosing a momentary silence that leads to retreating from the relationship? Do you get rattled and lash out with anger, blame, or by emotionally suffocating a hurting friend? Do you simply break down?
What is the right thing to say or do?
On the spot, it can be very difficult to remember that we have a choice. There is a space between a stimulus and our response, and this can be actively trained to widen. It is in this space that you can have a conversation with yourself, and connection truly begins.
The power of the inner check-in
That conversation with yourself doesn't have to be long or deep. But it holds power. This inner check-in can remind you of who you are, reassure you that you are fine, and help you understand what you're truly feeling.
Perhaps you'll learn that you're not sure how you feel, or what's really going on. That's a great start.
Accept what you're feeling
Checking in with yourself and seeing where you are is the first of three crucial steps in connection. The next step is to accept what you're feeling without judgment. This means allowing yourself to feel angry, sad, frustrated, or confused without adding a layer of shame or self-criticism.
We often beat ourselves up for having an emotional reaction, but you can't truly address an emotion until you've acknowledged it. This acceptance is what gives you the clarity to move forward authentically.
Engage from a place of authentic self-awareness
From that place of acceptance, you are ready to engage with the other person. This is where your inner work becomes an external connection. You can now admit, "I don't know what to say right now," or "I'm just so sad for you," or "I'm feeling frustrated and confused."
This honesty keeps the connection alive. It shows the other person you are present and taking responsibility for your part.
Asking yourself the tough questions
To ensure you're taking responsibility for your part in the conversation, ask yourself these questions:
- Did I truly listen?
- Did I pause when I felt triggered?
- Have I checked in with myself and what I'm feeling?
If you answered "no" to any of these, just rewind. Ask for clarification. Ask to restart the conversation. Take a moment to check in. You might have to wait; people need their time. Stay with it. Some conversations will still get messy.
Starting a conversation makes the rest so much easier. And closer to saying everything that needs to be spoken. And slowly, one conversation at a time, you will discover new depths, smoother interactions, and the ease of stepping into nurturing connection.
Ready to go deeper?
The ability to pause, check in, and connect with authenticity is a skill. It's an essential part of leadership, team building, and personal growth. At Wild Sense, we believe this is the core of true communication. Our methodology is built to help you and your teams master this practice, transforming everyday interactions into opportunities for meaningful connection.
If you are ready to move from reacting to intentionally connecting, we are here to help.
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